"Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" has always held a special place in my heart. If you can have an "our song" with deity, that is mine. So many times, that song comes on and I immediately know how much I am loved and, frequently, revelation just starts to flow. (Hmmm...maybe I should listen to it more often.) There is a very distinct moment on my mission when it came on. I vividly remember the way the leaves were blowing around the freeway as we got off on the Hopkins Road exit in Richmond, VA. That morning, I'd been struggling to know where I should go and what I should do after my mission. (You may recall that, when I decided to serve, I didn't have family support and I really didn't have a "home." I hadn't lived where I grew up in over 7 years and would have no reason to go back to where I was living at the time in Rochester, NY.) I wondered if I was a competent missionary and was doing what the Lord would have me do. In that moment, listening to that song, I knew it would be ok and the spirit helped me to know that I was exactly where I was supposed to be - it had been foreseen, though not be me. I was supposed to be in that green Chevy Malibu getting on Hopkins Road to visit Enrique and Suzy. I had the thought, "Tell me, Lord, how could you have known for so long that I would be here in this place? One year ago I wouldn't have guessed it and two years ago I knew nothing of the church." The answer came, "Anne, I know you and I know your heart. I knew that your heart would lead you to this place because it is where I need you to be. I knew that you would make the choices that would allow you to become an instrument in my hands."
As we walked into church today, I saw my friend, Trina, and she had a copy of the music for this song in her hand. With hope in my voice, I asked if she would be singing that song today. She confirmed that she was. I told her it was my favorite and I was excited to hear it and went and found my seat.
My boys were particularly cuddly today and were each trying to claim a spot leaning on me. It felt good. I felt loved. We listened to the speakers and then Trina got up to sing. As the music started, I was brought back to that moment in Virginia when my station in life, my path at the time and my competency in that path, was confirmed. Lately, my friends, I'll be honest and say that I have really been struggling with feeling competent - at just about anything. I've been feeling that everything I try seems to fail in one way or another and I've wondered if I am in the right place, if I am doing the right things, how I am blessed with these great little boys and an amazing husband that sometimes I take for granted, am I messing things up and limiting the progress of my kids by decisions I make. But, sitting there today, listening to that familiar hymn and holding those two amazing boys, the Spirit washed over me. Again, it let me know that I am exactly where I was supposed to be. Again, it had been foreseen, though not by me. Those boys need me as their mom - not any of the other "super mom" friends that I have. Me. They need me, my flaws and my awesome strengths to raise them to be what the Lord would have them be. I am exactly where the Lord needs me right now. And, oh how I needed that confirmation.
I am grateful for inspired musical numbers (even if she had just sung the same song a few months ago). I am grateful for having an "Our Song" with the Holy Ghost. Maybe I really should listen to it more often.
No comments:
Post a Comment