I was missing Elder Scott a little during Conference this past weekend. I listened to one of his talks this morning. In it, he says, "Why does the Lord want us to pray to Him and to ask? Because that is how revelation is received." That got me thinking a bit.
Two of my closest friends - other than Doug, I would say they are my best friends - rarely call me. It is always me that needs to initiate contact. And, usually, when I do call them, it isn't for me to be able to talk but is because I want to get their take on something or find out what is going on with them. They almost always say something that "fills my cup." If I don't reach out to them, I don't receive that boost, that "revelation" to help along my way.
In this metaphor, I'm not saying that Heavenly Father doesn't ever "call" us. Of course he does when there is a message that we need. (Now, do we answer the phone? That's a whole different conversation.) But, it is in our reaching out to him - putting some effort into it - that we get the extreme blessing of being able to get his take on things in our life.
As an aside, lately LJ has been talking about how he doesn't necessarily need to pray about what he grateful for because "Heavenly Father already knows." I just thought of this so will have to bring it up - as parents, we know our kids are grateful for many things in our day to day life. For example, we know they are grateful for dinner (at least if it is pizza or chicken nuggets and does not include a vegetable). But, more than knowing, doesn't it mean a bit more when they actually say, "Thank you for dinner."
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 4, 2016
Thursday, September 22, 2016
Training Wheels
All summer LJ has been cruising around on his bike with one (squeaky) training wheel. Aside from alerting everyone that he is coming, the squeaky wheel has been a convenient way for him to practice not having the wheel touch the ground and balancing with it up off the ground. I was telling him today that I thought he was ready to just take the training wheel off but he was hesitant. Then, while trying to jump over a 4x4 piece of wood, he knocked the training wheel up and didn't notice at first. Again, I asked about taking the wheel off and he said, "Just let me practice a bit more."
I let him practice and then said, "Wouldn't it be a neat surprise for Dad if, when he got home, you were cruising around without your training wheel!?" He agreed. As we were taking the training wheel off, he kept saying, "Dad is going to be so proud of me!"
We removed the wheel and he took off down the street saying, "I've got this!" I ran into the house to grab the camera. By the time I got back out, I couldn't spot him but saw The Lion stopped near the fire hydrant. I took a few more steps and saw him sprawled on the sidewalk with the bike on top of him. He rolled over and looked at me. Then, he smiled, waved and said, "I'm alright. I've got this!" He got up and started racing up and down the street again. Ever since he was a toddler, his resilience has inspired me. He is such a tough kid! There was another fall but he popped right back up, dusted off his pants and started going again. "Mom, I'm doing it! Dad is going to be so surprised! Mom, I can even do sharp turns! Watch!" He mastered it so fast! I was so proud of him.
(For the sake of the grandparents, I feel the need to preface this next paragraph with the statement that nothing bad/permanent happened.)
Remember the aforementioned piece of wood that knocked the training wheel up? It is opposite the mailbox and so, when avoiding the mailbox, it is easy to hit the piece of wood. He did just that and fell hard, smashing his leg and ribs between the wood and his bike. He didn't wave and smile and pop right back up. I walked over and asked if he was ok. He winced and said, "Yea...I got my leg stuck for a minute but I'm alright." He started walking around a bit and you could tell the leg hurt. He explained that he wanted to take a break for a little bit but definitely wanted to show Dad his new skills when Dad got home. Sure enough, Doug hadn't even gotten into the garage and LJ was jumping out the door to strap on his helmet and get going.
We were both so proud of him as he cruised up and down the street. Thinking back on it this evening, I was surprised when I realized that I was most proud of him for getting back up each time he fell down. I can't help but wonder if it is the same with our Heavenly Parents. I know they are happy with us when we are "cruising along" and progressing but is it a stronger happiness when we get back up after getting knocked down? During those times that our spiritual training wheels have been taken away - a new calling, a new job, an unexpected move, a faith-shaking trial - do we get a little "You've got this!" message that helps us to believe "I've got this! I'm doing it!"? Sometimes we do and sometimes I think we don't - we have to forge ahead and find strength on our own. But, I think that is part of the "no training wheels" spiritual learning process.
I let him practice and then said, "Wouldn't it be a neat surprise for Dad if, when he got home, you were cruising around without your training wheel!?" He agreed. As we were taking the training wheel off, he kept saying, "Dad is going to be so proud of me!"
We removed the wheel and he took off down the street saying, "I've got this!" I ran into the house to grab the camera. By the time I got back out, I couldn't spot him but saw The Lion stopped near the fire hydrant. I took a few more steps and saw him sprawled on the sidewalk with the bike on top of him. He rolled over and looked at me. Then, he smiled, waved and said, "I'm alright. I've got this!" He got up and started racing up and down the street again. Ever since he was a toddler, his resilience has inspired me. He is such a tough kid! There was another fall but he popped right back up, dusted off his pants and started going again. "Mom, I'm doing it! Dad is going to be so surprised! Mom, I can even do sharp turns! Watch!" He mastered it so fast! I was so proud of him.
(For the sake of the grandparents, I feel the need to preface this next paragraph with the statement that nothing bad/permanent happened.)
Remember the aforementioned piece of wood that knocked the training wheel up? It is opposite the mailbox and so, when avoiding the mailbox, it is easy to hit the piece of wood. He did just that and fell hard, smashing his leg and ribs between the wood and his bike. He didn't wave and smile and pop right back up. I walked over and asked if he was ok. He winced and said, "Yea...I got my leg stuck for a minute but I'm alright." He started walking around a bit and you could tell the leg hurt. He explained that he wanted to take a break for a little bit but definitely wanted to show Dad his new skills when Dad got home. Sure enough, Doug hadn't even gotten into the garage and LJ was jumping out the door to strap on his helmet and get going.
We were both so proud of him as he cruised up and down the street. Thinking back on it this evening, I was surprised when I realized that I was most proud of him for getting back up each time he fell down. I can't help but wonder if it is the same with our Heavenly Parents. I know they are happy with us when we are "cruising along" and progressing but is it a stronger happiness when we get back up after getting knocked down? During those times that our spiritual training wheels have been taken away - a new calling, a new job, an unexpected move, a faith-shaking trial - do we get a little "You've got this!" message that helps us to believe "I've got this! I'm doing it!"? Sometimes we do and sometimes I think we don't - we have to forge ahead and find strength on our own. But, I think that is part of the "no training wheels" spiritual learning process.
Sunday, July 10, 2016
Prioritizing the Family
A few weeks ago, I was asked to speak in church on The Family: A Proclamation to the World and The Living Christ. I knew this would be a daunting task and I didn't have much time to prepare my talk. I prayed for the Holy Ghost to help guide me in what to say as well as to help those listening to hear the message they needed to hear. I felt that guidance as I gathered my thoughts - and the talk ended up going a completely different direction than I had thought it would. I knew that I did not want it to be a political talk and I hope that it doesn't come across that way. I also knew that I wanted to include those of different circumstances as part of the applicable audience. A number of people have asked for it and/or the references used and so I thought I would include it here for their sake - as well as for my boys.
These two documents are anchors in the stormy seas of life. The doctrines taught are so very important in the world in which we live. They are interconnected. An attack on the doctrine of one is an attack on the other.
Sister Beck – “Anti-Christ is antifamily. Any doctrine or principle [we] hear from the world that is antifamily is also anti-Christ. It’s that clear.”
As I prepared the talk, I was struck by strong voices of warning, direction and encouragement regarding the family in society.
1. "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" states a warning itself. "Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets." Adding to this, Elder Bruce D. Porter said “So vital is the family to the cycle of human life and the renewal of each generation that it is fair to say that if the family breaks down, everything breaks down. If families do not fulfill their divinely appointed purpose of carrying on the light of truth and the torch of civilization to the next generation, then we can throw any amount of money or ideas or programs at our world’s problems, and we will assuredly fail.”
2. Sister Oscarson - When President Gordon B. Hinckley first read “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” 20 years ago this year, we were grateful for and valued the clarity, simplicity, and truth of this revelatory document. Little did we realize then how very desperately we would need these basic declarations in today’s world as the criteria by which we could judge each new wind of worldly dogma coming at us from the media, the Internet, scholars, TV and films, and even legislators. The proclamation on the family has become our benchmark for judging the philosophies of the world, and I testify that the principles set forth within this statement are as true today as they were when they were given to us by a prophet of God nearly 20 years ago.
3. Sister Beck - “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” was written to reinforce that the family is central to the Creator’s plan. Without the family, there is no plan; there is no reason for mortal life. We must be very clear on key points of doctrine, which we find in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” This generation will be called upon to defend the doctrine of the family as never before. If they don’t know it, they can’t defend it. President Kimball said: “Many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us. …”
Think about the word "actively.” What can we do to believe actively in the family?
Last August, I had surgery on my knee and was laid up for quite a while. I kept myself occupied by doing indexing. There was a common occupation listed that stuck out to me - "Homemaker." I like to think about the etymology of words began thinking of it more as a "maker of the home" and what an important job that is. I discovered a quote from Sister Oscarson that went right along with what I had been thinking.
Sister Oscarson - We need to stand and defend the sanctity of the home. We need to take a term which is sometimes spoken of with derision and elevate it. It is the term homemaker. All of us—women, men, youth, and children, single or married—can work at being homemakers. We should “make our homes” places of order, refuge, holiness, and safety. Our homes should be places where the Spirit of the Lord is felt in rich abundance and where the scriptures and the gospel are studied, taught, and lived. What a difference it would make in the world if all people would see themselves as makers of righteous homes. Let us defend the home as a place which is second only to the temple in holiness.
When I first met Doug's parents, I was talking to Doug's dad about being a convert to the church. He said, that one of the things that really stuck out to him was the feelings he had as he entered his (future) in-laws house for the first time. He talked about how the Spirit filled their home in abundance due to the way that they lived their lives. He created a goal to have a similar feeling when people enter his home. He, (and my mother-in-law), have definitely succeeded in accomplishing that goal. Every time we enter their home, (and even their driveway), it feels like going to a spiritual refuge. It is a welcome place and a place to refuel. We strive to similarly invite the Spirit into our home. It is pertinent, for not only ourselves but also for our children, that we do this.
Sister Beck - Never at any time in the history of the world have we needed stronger families and stronger homes. It is out of those homes and families that the next generation comes. As each of us walks out of our own home every day, how strong is that home that we are leaving? Is it a bastion of strength and power for us?
We need to prioritize our families. How many other items do we have to prioritize? Soccer? Robotics? Church callings? Swimming? Meal Planning? School? Science Fair? Speech? It can be difficult to balance everything. With our current work schedules and church callings, we are able to average about 1 meal/day together throughout the week, (and some weeks only 4 meals per week). Some days we don't get to have any meals all together as a family. It is difficult and we have definitely been able to feel the added stress to not having that family time together on those days. President Uchtdorf gives us wise counsel to keep our priorities in line.
1. President Uchtdorf - “One example of great importance for humanity is strengthening our own families. The principle of family home evening was given to us in 1915. President McKay reminded parents again in 1964 that ‘no other success can compensate for failure in the home.’ In 1995 the prophets of our day called upon all the world to strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society. . . . However worthy and appropriate other demands or activities may be, they must not be permitted to displace the divinely appointed duties that only parents and families can adequately perform.”
2. Elder Holland - No one would wish a bad marriage on anyone. But where do we think “good marriages” come from? They don’t spring full-blown from the head of Zeus any more than does a good education, or good home teaching, or a good symphony. Why should a marriage require fewer tears and less toil and shabbier commitment than your job or your clothes or your car? Yet some of you will spend less time on the quality and substance and purpose of your marriage—the highest, holiest, culminating covenant you make in this world—than you will in maintaining your ’72 Datsun.
3. Sister Oscarson - We eagerly teach our children to aim high in this life. We want to make sure that our children know that they have the potential to achieve and be whatever they can imagine. We hope they will love learning, be educated, and talented. Do we also teach our sons and daughters there is no greater honor, no more elevated title, and no more important role in this life than that of mother or father? I would hope that as we encourage our children to reach for the very best in this life that we also teach them to honor and exalt the roles that mothers and fathers play in Heavenly Father’s plan.
Recently, I was talking to a good friend about what we were like at 19. She got married at 19 and I was nowhere near even thinking about getting married at 19. At the time, I figured my mid-20's would be a good time to start considering marriage. I needed to finish medical school first. I didn't have much interest in having children. A few years later, I received my Patriarchal blessing - I knew I was going to have children. (Yes, plural.) It still scared me a lot but the idea grew on me. Then, as a missionary, I met a family that had two little girls, Jasmine and Madeline. I loved these girls so much and they seemed to genuinely like me too. Playing with them made me realize that I really wanted to have kids. I wanted to feel that direct-from-heaven feeling that you can only have when a child hugs you and puts their head under your chin. I have a picture of Jasmine and Madeline with their mom hanging in my house and every time I see it, I think, "Yes...that's when I decided I wanted to have kids." I absolutely love being a mom. I didn't really think I would - that whole selfish, only child thing coming out. It is by far the hardest thing I have ever done but the rewards are more than any other glory or honor I could receive. I definitely feel that I learn more than I teach as a parent.
I don't know if parenting comes naturally to anyone but it most definitely did not come naturally to me. I desperately require heavenly help in parenting. It is among the many motivators to live my life in such a way to have the Spirit with me. In a talk from Women's Conference in 2010 Sister Beck explains how to do this. I've heard her reiterate these concepts, (along with the shift-work example of parenting and how you can't be "on the clock" for all three shifts mentioned in this talk), numerous times and they always get me thinking, "I need to figure that out!"
Sister Beck – I asked myself what things must be taken care of, and if I don’t take care of them, the blessings of eternal life won’t be mine nor will they be my family’s. I wrote at the top of the list revelation. I have to be able to know the mind and will of God. Therefore, I have to do the things in my life that put me in a position to hear His voice… It takes personal revelation every day to help us prioritize and reprioritize and keep at bay the influences of the world that would draw us from what we are to do. I have taken a paper and pencil with me most of the time since then to my prayers. I don’t always receive an answer or instruction, but I am ready. I want to be ready to learn what the Lord would have me do in my day. Who needs my help? How can I increase my faith this day? How can I strengthen my family? What things do I need to correct in order to be worthy to receive His Spirit? He will tell me.
For our family, one of the more recent times that we needed some divine direction was when Doug was considering going back to school. We thought it seemed like a good idea but knew we would need heaven's help to get through the 4 year doctorate program. We decided to go to the temple and see if we received any answers. We met up in the Celestial Room to discuss any inspiration we felt. Doug felt good about the school decision. I had a bit of a different answer - I promised that the question I was thinking of was about him going to school but the answer that I received was that we should have a baby. We moved forward with both even though it wouldn't be easy. The Lion was born the day before Doug's Organic Chemistry final a little over 9 months later. I learned a few important lessons during this process.
First, I learned that the Lord loves us and will make sure we are okay. We had a number of obstacles over the last 3 years. (1 year left to go.) At first, Doug was trying to do some pre-requisite classes while still working full time which forced him into working a graveyard shift and then having class 20 miles away during the day and a toddler and newborn at home. As he started the doctorate program, he quit his job and I went back to work part-time. Working full-time has been tempting, in an attempt to decrease the financial stress, but it has never felt right or worked out the way we would need it to in regards to scheduling. I have changed jobs a few times during the years - some would say too many times - but each time, we have felt directed to do so. We have been guided and directed in each of these decisions and comforted when "our plan" didn't align with His plan. This was one of my favorite moments to look back on and remember that we have someone looking out for us. I cherish that moment of receiving the answer of, "Anne, I love you and I believe in you. I know you are frustrated and it doesn't seem to make sense to you that the change did not occur. Please know that there is a reason. I need you to remain in your current situation - not for you but for those around you. You can be a force for good in their lives. Will you please sacrifice your plan a bit longer so that I can use you for that purpose?..." Revelation has been received, doors have been opened, obstacles have been overcome, financial struggles have miraculously worked themselves out. We have learned much of how much the Lord loves us and wants our family to succeed in every conceivable way.
The second greatest thing that I have learned through this experience is just how amazing my husband is. Remember all those talks and quotes above that talk about prioritizing family? Yes, he does all of those things. And, all the things on this list? Yep, he does all of those things too. He sacrifices so much in order to make sure the boys know they are his priority. He will spend the afternoon and evening playing with them, and then make up the study time by staying up way past midnight, only to get up early and help get breakfast and lunches made. I would not have made it through these 3 years without his help and his dedication to us.
At the Vatican Summit on Marriage, President Eyring gave us some hope that happy marriages and families are attainable if we stick to it.
President Eyring - [The doctrines and counsel in the Family Proclamation are] things people must do for us to have a renaissance of happy marriages and productive families...Such a renaissance will require people to try for the ideal—and to keep trying even when the happy result is slow to come and when loud voices mock the effort. As we work to build and encourage faithful, loving marriages in which men and women become as one and nurture their families, the Lord will multiply your efforts. As we join together in this work, I promise progress toward that happy result.
A promise like that can definitely give you a boost during those, "Is it worth it?" moments.
When the early saints were asked to do the (seemingly) impossible in building the Salt Lake Temple, Elder Holland explained what all was required...and why it was required. While reading this quote think of the idea of creating a stable, successful and happy family. It can be a daunting task, but is there any greater work to be done?
Elder Holland – Blood, toil, tears, and sweat. The best things are always worth finishing. “Know ye not that ye are the temple of God?” (1 Corinthians 3:16). Most assuredly you are. As long and laborious as the effort may seem, please keep shaping and setting the stones that will make your accomplishment “a grand and imposing spectacle.” Take advantage of every opportunity to learn and grow. Dream dreams and see visions. Work toward their realization. Wait patiently when you have no other choice. Lean on your sword and rest a while, but get up and fight again. Perhaps you will not see the full meaning of your effort in your own lifetime. But your children will, or your children’s children will.
I am grateful for all of the examples I have in my life of those that prioritize the family. I am grateful for the many testimonies and talks on the topic that can direct, encourage and support us in our efforts. I know that there is a reason that this topic is mentioned again and again and again. With the instability in the world and society, (as further evidenced by recent events this week), it is pertinent that we are able to provide a stable foundation for our families - no matter what stage of life you are in. I know that we will be blessed and guided in our efforts.
These two documents are anchors in the stormy seas of life. The doctrines taught are so very important in the world in which we live. They are interconnected. An attack on the doctrine of one is an attack on the other.
Sister Beck – “Anti-Christ is antifamily. Any doctrine or principle [we] hear from the world that is antifamily is also anti-Christ. It’s that clear.”
As I prepared the talk, I was struck by strong voices of warning, direction and encouragement regarding the family in society.
1. "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" states a warning itself. "Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets." Adding to this, Elder Bruce D. Porter said “So vital is the family to the cycle of human life and the renewal of each generation that it is fair to say that if the family breaks down, everything breaks down. If families do not fulfill their divinely appointed purpose of carrying on the light of truth and the torch of civilization to the next generation, then we can throw any amount of money or ideas or programs at our world’s problems, and we will assuredly fail.”
2. Sister Oscarson - When President Gordon B. Hinckley first read “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” 20 years ago this year, we were grateful for and valued the clarity, simplicity, and truth of this revelatory document. Little did we realize then how very desperately we would need these basic declarations in today’s world as the criteria by which we could judge each new wind of worldly dogma coming at us from the media, the Internet, scholars, TV and films, and even legislators. The proclamation on the family has become our benchmark for judging the philosophies of the world, and I testify that the principles set forth within this statement are as true today as they were when they were given to us by a prophet of God nearly 20 years ago.
3. Sister Beck - “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” was written to reinforce that the family is central to the Creator’s plan. Without the family, there is no plan; there is no reason for mortal life. We must be very clear on key points of doctrine, which we find in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” This generation will be called upon to defend the doctrine of the family as never before. If they don’t know it, they can’t defend it. President Kimball said: “Many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us. …”
Think about the word "actively.” What can we do to believe actively in the family?
Last August, I had surgery on my knee and was laid up for quite a while. I kept myself occupied by doing indexing. There was a common occupation listed that stuck out to me - "Homemaker." I like to think about the etymology of words began thinking of it more as a "maker of the home" and what an important job that is. I discovered a quote from Sister Oscarson that went right along with what I had been thinking.
Sister Oscarson - We need to stand and defend the sanctity of the home. We need to take a term which is sometimes spoken of with derision and elevate it. It is the term homemaker. All of us—women, men, youth, and children, single or married—can work at being homemakers. We should “make our homes” places of order, refuge, holiness, and safety. Our homes should be places where the Spirit of the Lord is felt in rich abundance and where the scriptures and the gospel are studied, taught, and lived. What a difference it would make in the world if all people would see themselves as makers of righteous homes. Let us defend the home as a place which is second only to the temple in holiness.
When I first met Doug's parents, I was talking to Doug's dad about being a convert to the church. He said, that one of the things that really stuck out to him was the feelings he had as he entered his (future) in-laws house for the first time. He talked about how the Spirit filled their home in abundance due to the way that they lived their lives. He created a goal to have a similar feeling when people enter his home. He, (and my mother-in-law), have definitely succeeded in accomplishing that goal. Every time we enter their home, (and even their driveway), it feels like going to a spiritual refuge. It is a welcome place and a place to refuel. We strive to similarly invite the Spirit into our home. It is pertinent, for not only ourselves but also for our children, that we do this.
Sister Beck - Never at any time in the history of the world have we needed stronger families and stronger homes. It is out of those homes and families that the next generation comes. As each of us walks out of our own home every day, how strong is that home that we are leaving? Is it a bastion of strength and power for us?
We need to prioritize our families. How many other items do we have to prioritize? Soccer? Robotics? Church callings? Swimming? Meal Planning? School? Science Fair? Speech? It can be difficult to balance everything. With our current work schedules and church callings, we are able to average about 1 meal/day together throughout the week, (and some weeks only 4 meals per week). Some days we don't get to have any meals all together as a family. It is difficult and we have definitely been able to feel the added stress to not having that family time together on those days. President Uchtdorf gives us wise counsel to keep our priorities in line.
1. President Uchtdorf - “One example of great importance for humanity is strengthening our own families. The principle of family home evening was given to us in 1915. President McKay reminded parents again in 1964 that ‘no other success can compensate for failure in the home.’ In 1995 the prophets of our day called upon all the world to strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society. . . . However worthy and appropriate other demands or activities may be, they must not be permitted to displace the divinely appointed duties that only parents and families can adequately perform.”
2. Elder Holland - No one would wish a bad marriage on anyone. But where do we think “good marriages” come from? They don’t spring full-blown from the head of Zeus any more than does a good education, or good home teaching, or a good symphony. Why should a marriage require fewer tears and less toil and shabbier commitment than your job or your clothes or your car? Yet some of you will spend less time on the quality and substance and purpose of your marriage—the highest, holiest, culminating covenant you make in this world—than you will in maintaining your ’72 Datsun.
3. Sister Oscarson - We eagerly teach our children to aim high in this life. We want to make sure that our children know that they have the potential to achieve and be whatever they can imagine. We hope they will love learning, be educated, and talented. Do we also teach our sons and daughters there is no greater honor, no more elevated title, and no more important role in this life than that of mother or father? I would hope that as we encourage our children to reach for the very best in this life that we also teach them to honor and exalt the roles that mothers and fathers play in Heavenly Father’s plan.
Recently, I was talking to a good friend about what we were like at 19. She got married at 19 and I was nowhere near even thinking about getting married at 19. At the time, I figured my mid-20's would be a good time to start considering marriage. I needed to finish medical school first. I didn't have much interest in having children. A few years later, I received my Patriarchal blessing - I knew I was going to have children. (Yes, plural.) It still scared me a lot but the idea grew on me. Then, as a missionary, I met a family that had two little girls, Jasmine and Madeline. I loved these girls so much and they seemed to genuinely like me too. Playing with them made me realize that I really wanted to have kids. I wanted to feel that direct-from-heaven feeling that you can only have when a child hugs you and puts their head under your chin. I have a picture of Jasmine and Madeline with their mom hanging in my house and every time I see it, I think, "Yes...that's when I decided I wanted to have kids." I absolutely love being a mom. I didn't really think I would - that whole selfish, only child thing coming out. It is by far the hardest thing I have ever done but the rewards are more than any other glory or honor I could receive. I definitely feel that I learn more than I teach as a parent.
I don't know if parenting comes naturally to anyone but it most definitely did not come naturally to me. I desperately require heavenly help in parenting. It is among the many motivators to live my life in such a way to have the Spirit with me. In a talk from Women's Conference in 2010 Sister Beck explains how to do this. I've heard her reiterate these concepts, (along with the shift-work example of parenting and how you can't be "on the clock" for all three shifts mentioned in this talk), numerous times and they always get me thinking, "I need to figure that out!"
Sister Beck – I asked myself what things must be taken care of, and if I don’t take care of them, the blessings of eternal life won’t be mine nor will they be my family’s. I wrote at the top of the list revelation. I have to be able to know the mind and will of God. Therefore, I have to do the things in my life that put me in a position to hear His voice… It takes personal revelation every day to help us prioritize and reprioritize and keep at bay the influences of the world that would draw us from what we are to do. I have taken a paper and pencil with me most of the time since then to my prayers. I don’t always receive an answer or instruction, but I am ready. I want to be ready to learn what the Lord would have me do in my day. Who needs my help? How can I increase my faith this day? How can I strengthen my family? What things do I need to correct in order to be worthy to receive His Spirit? He will tell me.
For our family, one of the more recent times that we needed some divine direction was when Doug was considering going back to school. We thought it seemed like a good idea but knew we would need heaven's help to get through the 4 year doctorate program. We decided to go to the temple and see if we received any answers. We met up in the Celestial Room to discuss any inspiration we felt. Doug felt good about the school decision. I had a bit of a different answer - I promised that the question I was thinking of was about him going to school but the answer that I received was that we should have a baby. We moved forward with both even though it wouldn't be easy. The Lion was born the day before Doug's Organic Chemistry final a little over 9 months later. I learned a few important lessons during this process.
First, I learned that the Lord loves us and will make sure we are okay. We had a number of obstacles over the last 3 years. (1 year left to go.) At first, Doug was trying to do some pre-requisite classes while still working full time which forced him into working a graveyard shift and then having class 20 miles away during the day and a toddler and newborn at home. As he started the doctorate program, he quit his job and I went back to work part-time. Working full-time has been tempting, in an attempt to decrease the financial stress, but it has never felt right or worked out the way we would need it to in regards to scheduling. I have changed jobs a few times during the years - some would say too many times - but each time, we have felt directed to do so. We have been guided and directed in each of these decisions and comforted when "our plan" didn't align with His plan. This was one of my favorite moments to look back on and remember that we have someone looking out for us. I cherish that moment of receiving the answer of, "Anne, I love you and I believe in you. I know you are frustrated and it doesn't seem to make sense to you that the change did not occur. Please know that there is a reason. I need you to remain in your current situation - not for you but for those around you. You can be a force for good in their lives. Will you please sacrifice your plan a bit longer so that I can use you for that purpose?..." Revelation has been received, doors have been opened, obstacles have been overcome, financial struggles have miraculously worked themselves out. We have learned much of how much the Lord loves us and wants our family to succeed in every conceivable way.
The second greatest thing that I have learned through this experience is just how amazing my husband is. Remember all those talks and quotes above that talk about prioritizing family? Yes, he does all of those things. And, all the things on this list? Yep, he does all of those things too. He sacrifices so much in order to make sure the boys know they are his priority. He will spend the afternoon and evening playing with them, and then make up the study time by staying up way past midnight, only to get up early and help get breakfast and lunches made. I would not have made it through these 3 years without his help and his dedication to us.
At the Vatican Summit on Marriage, President Eyring gave us some hope that happy marriages and families are attainable if we stick to it.
President Eyring - [The doctrines and counsel in the Family Proclamation are] things people must do for us to have a renaissance of happy marriages and productive families...Such a renaissance will require people to try for the ideal—and to keep trying even when the happy result is slow to come and when loud voices mock the effort. As we work to build and encourage faithful, loving marriages in which men and women become as one and nurture their families, the Lord will multiply your efforts. As we join together in this work, I promise progress toward that happy result.
A promise like that can definitely give you a boost during those, "Is it worth it?" moments.
When the early saints were asked to do the (seemingly) impossible in building the Salt Lake Temple, Elder Holland explained what all was required...and why it was required. While reading this quote think of the idea of creating a stable, successful and happy family. It can be a daunting task, but is there any greater work to be done?
Elder Holland – Blood, toil, tears, and sweat. The best things are always worth finishing. “Know ye not that ye are the temple of God?” (1 Corinthians 3:16). Most assuredly you are. As long and laborious as the effort may seem, please keep shaping and setting the stones that will make your accomplishment “a grand and imposing spectacle.” Take advantage of every opportunity to learn and grow. Dream dreams and see visions. Work toward their realization. Wait patiently when you have no other choice. Lean on your sword and rest a while, but get up and fight again. Perhaps you will not see the full meaning of your effort in your own lifetime. But your children will, or your children’s children will.
I am grateful for all of the examples I have in my life of those that prioritize the family. I am grateful for the many testimonies and talks on the topic that can direct, encourage and support us in our efforts. I know that there is a reason that this topic is mentioned again and again and again. With the instability in the world and society, (as further evidenced by recent events this week), it is pertinent that we are able to provide a stable foundation for our families - no matter what stage of life you are in. I know that we will be blessed and guided in our efforts.
Monday, March 21, 2016
Residency
Last week was the Residency Match Day. For those of you not in healthcare, that is the day that medical and pharmacy students anxiously await a message telling them where they are spending the next year of their life. I think that the process is purposefully stress-inducing since you really have no idea except that you are committed to go to whatever place you match with - whether it is your first choice or your seventh choice. As I finished up pharmacy school in 2010, I applied for 3 residencies. We knew we wanted to move to the Boise area and so I only applied here. Our parents were excited to find out where we were going and we had already planned to call them and let them know what our plans would be. The conversation went something like this -
Mom/Dad: So...what's the news?
Anne/Doug: Turns out we didn't match anywhere.
Mom/Dad: Oh honey, I'm sorry...I thought for sure...
Anne/Doug: Don't be sorry. It turns out we didn't match because we withdrew because... ... ... (really big dramatic pause) ... we are having a baby!
(You can easily imagine the rest of the conversation in regards to the first grandbaby.)
Prior to pursuing a residency, we had really debated what our next steps were - residency or family. Since we weren't exactly certain of which direction we should go, we decided to pursue both. Pregnancy wasn't coming easily but things were looking good on the residency front. I'd had a few great breaks in regards to networking and had quite a few people make additional personal recommendations to some of the residency directors. I was able to coordinate all of my interviews over the same few days so I only needed to make one trek to Boise. It was the first time that Doug and I were apart and I remember missing him terribly. As I drove home, I stopped in Burley for BK breakfast. (My dad knows that BK breakfast is one of my absolutely most favorite things!) I thought I should use the restroom before I made the rest of the snow-filled trek to SLC. But, as I stood up, old ladies (with walkers) cut me off in getting to the aisle that went to the restroom. I figured, "I'm a pharmacist...I'm great at going hours without being able to use the bathroom." And I was on my way. As I was driving, I started doing some monthly calendar calculations and realized things were a bit late. Then, I realized that, thanks to the walker-ladies, my hcg would be well concentrated by the time I got home. I decided not to stop for a bathroom in Tremonton either (and prayed for decent traffic around Ogden and Bountiful - ha!).
Doug was at work when I got home so I ran into the house and grabbed a pregnancy test. When it came back positive, I think my first thought was "Seriously, Heavenly Father? That is crazy timing. You do know I just interviewed for residency, right?" The next thought was how to tell Doug. Thankfully, I had prepared in advance. I had a little newborn onesie and I wrapped it up with a picture of the pregnancy test. The next hours seem to drag by forever! Where was a Gilmore Girls marathon when I needed one? I can still remember what Doug was wearing when he got home. (It was hospital issued blue scrubs so don't be too impressed with my memory.) He was confused by the onesie but figured it out with the picture of the test.
They say in residency you work harder than you have ever worked, sleep less than you have ever slept and learn years worth of information in a short period of time. Oh, and you get paid very little compared to what you should with your degree.
I would say that during my "residency year," I worked harder than I had ever worked, slept less than I had ever slept and learned years worth of eternal knowledge in a very short period of time. Oh, and from some perspectives, I was paid very little. However, from my perspective, I was given the best form of payment. I will forever be this guy's mom...forever. I am so grateful for him (fake smile and all) and for the ways that he has changed me. I can't imagine what would have happened if he hadn't entered our lives right when he did. (And I can't really believe that he has gotten so big!) He is an amazing kid and will grow up to be an amazing man.
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Celestial Physiology
Like most 4 year old boys, LJ is somewhat fascinated by the excretory system. Tonight, before bedtime, (read: stall tactic!!!!), he asked me how the body knows what to make into poop and what to make into pee. Recognizing the stall tactic, and knowing that if I told him it could wait til tomorrow that it would lead to a 10 minute whining session, I tried to give an abbreviated answer without going into too much detail. Of course, as 4 year olds do, he kept asking "How?" and "Why?" which led to a bit more detail. We ended up acting out receptors and transport pumps across membranes from the intestines and into the blood. He still wanted to know how the body knew how to do that. Then, I finally realized that I knew the ultimate answer. "Because Heavenly Father designed it that way." Then, we had a short discussion of all the cool physiological things Heavenly Father designed in our bodies.
I have mentioned before that my expensive, private college was worth every penny, (even though the cost of 1 year there was about the same as 4 years at BYU). I had some of the most amazing teachers and, since I majored in biochemistry and biology with a minor in chemistry, I was able to have a number of small classes. I got to know my professors very well. My adviser taught Anatomy/Physiology and is one of the best in the county. (Seriously, his FREE podcasts are consistently ranked in the Top 25 of educational podcasts on iTunes and he gets fan mail from around the world from doctors to businessmen to writers. If you want to take a free (and amazing) class just search "Gerald Cizadlo" on iTunes.) He taught in metaphors and his catch phrase was "Can you picture it?" He knew that if you could understand it enough to watch it like a movie in your mind, you'd have a decent understanding of it. I also took Pathophysiology from him but my favorite class was definitely Embryology. Even without a large religious influence in my life at the time, I was fascinated at how a Creator could create a human being. I looked at the countless things that could go wrong during the development of a baby and wondered how in the world we all got here safe and sound. That being said, I wish that I could have had the BYU version of Embryology added to my class with Doc C. Adding that eternal perspective of an omniscient, charitable and loving creator who wasn't only a creator but our Heavenly Father, would have made the class that much more interesting.
LJ, of course, asked how Heavenly Father knew how to make our bodies so awesome. My response was that he is the smartest person ever. What is even more awesome than that is that He wants to share all of his smarts with us. He would teach us everything that he knows if we only would let him. Now, if only I could be so willing to listen and be taught...
I have mentioned before that my expensive, private college was worth every penny, (even though the cost of 1 year there was about the same as 4 years at BYU). I had some of the most amazing teachers and, since I majored in biochemistry and biology with a minor in chemistry, I was able to have a number of small classes. I got to know my professors very well. My adviser taught Anatomy/Physiology and is one of the best in the county. (Seriously, his FREE podcasts are consistently ranked in the Top 25 of educational podcasts on iTunes and he gets fan mail from around the world from doctors to businessmen to writers. If you want to take a free (and amazing) class just search "Gerald Cizadlo" on iTunes.) He taught in metaphors and his catch phrase was "Can you picture it?" He knew that if you could understand it enough to watch it like a movie in your mind, you'd have a decent understanding of it. I also took Pathophysiology from him but my favorite class was definitely Embryology. Even without a large religious influence in my life at the time, I was fascinated at how a Creator could create a human being. I looked at the countless things that could go wrong during the development of a baby and wondered how in the world we all got here safe and sound. That being said, I wish that I could have had the BYU version of Embryology added to my class with Doc C. Adding that eternal perspective of an omniscient, charitable and loving creator who wasn't only a creator but our Heavenly Father, would have made the class that much more interesting.
LJ, of course, asked how Heavenly Father knew how to make our bodies so awesome. My response was that he is the smartest person ever. What is even more awesome than that is that He wants to share all of his smarts with us. He would teach us everything that he knows if we only would let him. Now, if only I could be so willing to listen and be taught...
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
Cabin Memories on Pokegama
**For a blog that doesn't have many pictures, this will fulfill my picture quota for quite some time!**
I grew up in Northern Minnesota. In the 1950's my grandparents purchased a large plot of land along Lake Pokegama in Grand Rapids. Despite the numerous lakes in the vicinity, Pokegama was known as "the lake". When I was little, (and needed speech therapy), I would always say, "Let's go to the wake! I want to go to the wake!" And I am certain that I spoke the truth. I loved it there. I still do. It was always a place of solace and refuge. We spent a lot of time there before my parents divorced when I was 7. After that, I was there frequently since it became my dad's home. There was a cabin and from that about 1000 feet of lake-shore going down to a sandy point that wrapped around to a cove.
(We found baby snapping turtles in abandoned eggs down in The Cove when I was in 5th Grade. Assuming they were dead and would make a great "show and tell," my dad put them in his coat pocket. They must have just been cold because, once they warmed up, they started moving around. We named them Jeff and Julie and they did make an even more amazing "show and tell" at school.)
This Friday, (which happens to be my birthday), the cabin will be sold. (We are also selling our SLC condo this week so I guess it is the season to clean out extra properties or something.) It is bittersweet. The Lion has never had the opportunity to go there and part of me wants to jet off to MN just so he can.
I have so many memories of The Cabin.
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| Testing out the water with Dad. |
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| Relaxing on the dock with Mom |
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| Spending some quality time with Grandma. (I love that she wore a flower in the her hair. I will never, ever be as stylish as her or get as tan as she did.) |
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| Practicing my boating skills. |
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| Getting in one last walk with Grandma before she headed to Florida for the winter. |
As I got older, there were more and more things to enjoy - knee-boarding, fishing, swimming, paddle-boating down to Snapping Turtle Cove, seeing how much rocking it would take to flip the paddle-boat over (and try not to capsize it), feeding chipmunks, (including my "pet" Short Tail), trying to chase seagulls while driving the boat, seeing who could crank up the boat ramp faster, football and baseball with my dad, camping, snorkeling and looking for fish and minnows, timing Dad as he tried to swim the butterfly between the docks (a distance of about 350 ft). (FYI - My dad is amazing!)
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| Dad standing in awe of my rock skipping skills! We'd have # of skips contests multiple times a day. |
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| Sometimes, I would just lie on my back, listen to the birds and stare through the trees. (It was usually after some crazy diving catch when we'd play football and I needed to catch my breath.) It was so peaceful and quiet, away from the world. |
In the winter, we would have contests where we would throw rocks out on to the ice and see who could throw it the furthest. In the spring, this changed to throwing the rock as high as possible so that it could build up momentum, the goal being to break through the ice. When the lake was frozen and there wasn't snow, we could skate all along the shoreline. If there was snow, my dad would shovel off a rink. I would skate and we'd play hockey for a short time and then head in for cocoa. Looking back, he must have really loved me to spend an hour shoveling just for 20 minutes of skating. (Again, my dad is a amazing!) When the weather was bad, we'd play hockey in the house. (I hope Grandma can't read blog posts in heaven...) Sometimes, we'd go for walks around the property line, which was pretty extensive. It was fun hiking over and through obstacles. I remember Dad's boot breaking through the ice in The Cove and he kept trudging on. One time we got lost on the snowmobile and it took forever to get home.
Sometimes, we'd go to the neighbor's fish house and watch the fish swimming through the hole. Frozen lakes are quiet but loud. It'll be eerily quiet and then the ice will crack, sometimes forming large ridges (which we would hope and pray no snowmobilers would hit although sometimes they did and it had grave results). When the ice finally started to melt, (and sometimes it felt like July by the time the lake cleared), we'd take the paddle-boat out and whack at the ice with the oars. I really felt that I was helping to get the ice off the water by breaking it up.
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| No idea what I'm doing but I sure look happy for it being 40 below zero. |
The house next door (through a little trail in the woods) was a vacation rental so provided a revolving door of new friends each week. I would wait anxiously to see who it was (and as I got older, if there were any cute boys). Then I would need to plot how to introduce myself and make a friend. I was grateful when there were return guests that took all of the anxiety out of the situation. It was always an adventure and opportunity to meet all sorts of people. I'm not sure if I would do that nowadays and that is sad whether it is due to society's influence or my own social apprehensions.
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| Check out that monster of a fish! |
I think the garage was officially 5 stalls. It may very well be bigger than the cabin. It was filled to capacity with random tools. (My grandfather thought himself a craftsman - although I don't think he was very good since Grandma didn't even trust him to cut down a tree correctly without her wearing a hard hat which she kept near the kitchen.) My dad collected old cars - a 38 Ford Coupe and a 37 Ford Pickup. (Dad, correct me in the comments, if needed.) My uncle had an old Chris Craft wooden boat (that always reminds me of "On Golden Pond"). The garage always seemed full. Poor Dad has been trying to go through it all in preparation for the sale. (Let's say it one more time, "My dad is amazing!") Here is LJ trying out the riding mower. That orange helmet in the back was mine when I was little and we'd go for rides on the mo-ped or the snow mobile.
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| LJ's first trip to the cabin was a little chilly to get out on the water so we explored the garage. |
Inside the cabin, you could find all sorts of gems. It was filled with paintings that my grandmother had done. She loved reading and puzzles (as do I) and so there was no shortage of books, puzzles and games.
The TV, however, did not work very well. I would complain about being bored and she would give me a gentle lecture on being productive and pull out a project. (There was a kiln - or maybe two - in the garage.) We would do pottery, crimp art, draw, work on my, (in her opinion), bad penmanship, and go for walks around "the loop". (The road where the cabin is situated loops around onto another road. It was my first version of doing a 5k. Grandma liked to do it at least once a day.) She bought me some personalized stationary and taught me the art of letter-writing. Our lunch was always "Sandwich Buffet" and, if we cleaned our plate, (that rule went for Dad too), we could have two cookies. Dinner was always followed by a scoop of ice cream with some homemade chocolate sauce while we played a game - usual Royal Rummy.
It is my memories of time with her that are one of the toughest things about not being able to go back there. I can sit on the porch and hear her laugh. I can go in the bedroom and am instantly brought back to listening to her and my dad play scrabble while I fell asleep. I feel closest to her there. I do not know if she ever knew the amount of influence she had on me. I would not be who I am if it were not for her and she is one of the most amazing and intelligent people I have ever met. (Both of my grandmothers were extraordinary. I'm a lucky girl.)
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| This picture is (obviously) not taken at the cabin but I love it. |
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| Plus, she raised this guy to be one of the best men that I know. |
As I mentioned, The Lion never made a trip but LJ did. I was grateful he got to experience some of the things on the list of must-do's at The Cabin.
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| He did a much better job at paying attention than I did when I was his age. |
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| I see this picture and think "Home". I think that is our property in the background going down to the point. The tallest tree that you can see has had an eagle's nest in it for years. It was right in the middle of the yard. |
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| Walking through the woods down to the point. |
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| He just jumped in the water as soon as he saw it. The water was a bit high which is why he got to witness the below picture. |
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| Grandpa Jack doing his best to act like Peter. |
You may have noticed a "My dad is amazing" theme throughout this post. But that is just because it is true. As much as I associate The Cabin with my grandmother, it is 1000 times more that I think of him and memories of him. I have mentioned before that my childhood was, at times, less than ideal. But time with him, out at the cabin, always gave me time to reflect and put things into perspective. It was my temple. It was my mountain. (Note to God: If there is a "Sherry's Arm Road" in heaven, I call dibs!)
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| A quiet moment with Dad down by The Cove near where Grandma and Grandpa's ashes are scattered. |
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| I wonder how many times we made this walk together and how many different topics were covered as we meandered along. (He was always good about wearing blaze orange in the fall when it was hunting season.) |
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| I'm so proud to call him my dad. |
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| I have always been (and always will be) a "Daddy's Girl". |
Thursday, June 18, 2015
Be Not Weary ... But I Am Weary!
I did it! I finally started this post. I have had notes in my scriptures for months about this and I've been thinking about it even longer. What held me back you ask? Oh...I was weary in well-doing.
This post incorporates ideas from not one but two of my "Top 5 Talks". You've got to know one of them by now. "However Long and Hard the Road" by Elder Holland and the other is "A Law of Increasing Returns" by President Eyring. I listen to both of these talks frequently and often have stories from them come to my mind.
The other day, I kept thinking about the first and how Elder Holland discusses Doctrine and Covenants 64:33-34 which includes "...be not weary in well-doing, for you are laying the foundation of a great work..." As he expands on that scripture, he states, "That 'great work' is you". There are countless times that I have felt that line being whispered in my ear. Whether I'm feeling weary or just down, I hear this little whisper of "Keep at it! That 'great work' is you!" (Along with the "Don't you quit" line from another Elder Holland talk, I think he is my personal cheerleader.) It has helped me to get through difficult times and to keep my priorities in line with the priorities of heaven.
I think one thing that is interesting is that it doesn't just say "be not weary". Thank goodness, because I wouldn't be able to follow that counsel. My life is pretty slow-paced compared to most but even with the demands I have, I definitely feel weary at times. However, adding the "in well-doing" caveat doesn't exactly make it easy.
As a mom, I've also had the idea come to my mind of, "That 'great work' is LJ", "That 'great work' is 'The Lion'". Because, really, they are the "great work" of my life.
Have you ever tried to gather kids for family prayer at the end of a long day (or even at the beginning of the day)? I'd say that is "well-doing" and oh-my-goodness it can be so easy to be weary doing that. I have a doctorate degree and am very good at taking tests, but I cannot get straight A's on the exams the boys give me. I was one of those lucky people that didn't need to study all that much and things came pretty easy. As a parent though, sheesh, I feel like I'm always 4 chapters behind and don't have any answers. But, I try and I study more of the counsel that is there and I keep trying and that is all I can do and that is enough. At times, I definitely grow weary in my parenting but I do not ever grow weary in loving them or caring about their future and their salvation.
In "A Law of Increasing Returns", President Eyring discusses short crops, (where you see the fruits of your efforts quickly), and late crops, (where it takes a long time - even a lifetime to see the results of your work). Work in the home is usually of the late crop variety. You can put in years and years of blood, sweat, tears, faith and hope but it doesn't guarantee a great harvest. I do feel that every once and a while you do get a little dividend on your investment. Frequently in the last few days, LJ has surprised us by his go-get-it attitude in helping around the house and both boys have demonstrated amazing manners (for their age) and consideration for others' feelings. It seems like they are on the right track to growing up to be good gentlemen. (Now just to keep them on the right track...)
When dealing with late crops, it is easy to become weary. Thank heavens, (literally), for those little dividends to keep us going. In October 2009, Elder Bednar gave a talk entitled, "More Diligent and Concerned at Home". (And, wow, I didn't even realize that the talk also references D&C 64:33. Maybe my random tangential thoughts do make sense!) Diligence seems like the antidote for weariness if you ask me. He states, "Each family prayer, each episode of family scripture study, and each family home evening is a brushstroke on the canvas of our souls. No one event may appear to be very impressive or memorable ... our consistency in doing seemingly small things can lead to significant spiritual results." It is those small things that matter. You know, those things that are so easy to push aside because, in times of weariness, we think, "Oh, we don't have time for that today. The boys never listen anyway. We'll just put it off til next week." I know that as we are consistent in those little things we will see the blessings, even if it is not until a future time.
Have you ever compared the effort that Adam and Eve had to put into eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil vs the effort it takes to get to the Tree of Life in Lehi's vision? Of course, Adam and Eve had a bit of help. Satan was all, "Hey...do you want to eat some of this fruit? Oh, let me just go get it for you. Do you need me to peel it for you? Yes, here you go, all ready to eat. Dig in!" In contrast, getting to the Tree of Life is somewhat akin to American Ninja Warrior. Here's this rod of iron to hold onto while you go along this filthy river of water, (symbolizing the depths of hell!), through a mist of darkness and get mocked by a bunch of people. I don't think I could even handle the first 2 obstacles of the American Ninja Warrior course without feeling a bit weary, much less struggle through Lehi's vision in real life. I don't like heights as it is but if the cliff face goes to a river representing hell, I may be a bit paralyzed with fear.
Living in such a way as to lead one (and one's family) to the Tree of Life definitely may cause at least thoughts of feeling weary and overwhelmed. Thankfully, we have the Holy Ghost to comfort us and strengthen us. (More on that in a future post.) We are blessed with insights and help in those times of need as long as we seek it out. As we work to not be weary we are given extra strength and an extra spiritual boost. I find that when I am being diligent in prayer and scripture study that those things become easier for me.
I know that we are up for the task at hand. I know that He who designed the task has ensured that we will succeed with his help. Be not weary in well doing. When you feel weary and too tired to pray, just pray. When you are exasperated with your kids, (do your best to) continue to lay that foundation that will help them become the "great work" of your life. My boys will be the first to tell you that I am far from perfect in this but I try and I do my best and that is enough. The same goes for you.
This post incorporates ideas from not one but two of my "Top 5 Talks". You've got to know one of them by now. "However Long and Hard the Road" by Elder Holland and the other is "A Law of Increasing Returns" by President Eyring. I listen to both of these talks frequently and often have stories from them come to my mind.
The other day, I kept thinking about the first and how Elder Holland discusses Doctrine and Covenants 64:33-34 which includes "...be not weary in well-doing, for you are laying the foundation of a great work..." As he expands on that scripture, he states, "That 'great work' is you". There are countless times that I have felt that line being whispered in my ear. Whether I'm feeling weary or just down, I hear this little whisper of "Keep at it! That 'great work' is you!" (Along with the "Don't you quit" line from another Elder Holland talk, I think he is my personal cheerleader.) It has helped me to get through difficult times and to keep my priorities in line with the priorities of heaven.
I think one thing that is interesting is that it doesn't just say "be not weary". Thank goodness, because I wouldn't be able to follow that counsel. My life is pretty slow-paced compared to most but even with the demands I have, I definitely feel weary at times. However, adding the "in well-doing" caveat doesn't exactly make it easy.
As a mom, I've also had the idea come to my mind of, "That 'great work' is LJ", "That 'great work' is 'The Lion'". Because, really, they are the "great work" of my life.
Have you ever tried to gather kids for family prayer at the end of a long day (or even at the beginning of the day)? I'd say that is "well-doing" and oh-my-goodness it can be so easy to be weary doing that. I have a doctorate degree and am very good at taking tests, but I cannot get straight A's on the exams the boys give me. I was one of those lucky people that didn't need to study all that much and things came pretty easy. As a parent though, sheesh, I feel like I'm always 4 chapters behind and don't have any answers. But, I try and I study more of the counsel that is there and I keep trying and that is all I can do and that is enough. At times, I definitely grow weary in my parenting but I do not ever grow weary in loving them or caring about their future and their salvation.
In "A Law of Increasing Returns", President Eyring discusses short crops, (where you see the fruits of your efforts quickly), and late crops, (where it takes a long time - even a lifetime to see the results of your work). Work in the home is usually of the late crop variety. You can put in years and years of blood, sweat, tears, faith and hope but it doesn't guarantee a great harvest. I do feel that every once and a while you do get a little dividend on your investment. Frequently in the last few days, LJ has surprised us by his go-get-it attitude in helping around the house and both boys have demonstrated amazing manners (for their age) and consideration for others' feelings. It seems like they are on the right track to growing up to be good gentlemen. (Now just to keep them on the right track...)
When dealing with late crops, it is easy to become weary. Thank heavens, (literally), for those little dividends to keep us going. In October 2009, Elder Bednar gave a talk entitled, "More Diligent and Concerned at Home". (And, wow, I didn't even realize that the talk also references D&C 64:33. Maybe my random tangential thoughts do make sense!) Diligence seems like the antidote for weariness if you ask me. He states, "Each family prayer, each episode of family scripture study, and each family home evening is a brushstroke on the canvas of our souls. No one event may appear to be very impressive or memorable ... our consistency in doing seemingly small things can lead to significant spiritual results." It is those small things that matter. You know, those things that are so easy to push aside because, in times of weariness, we think, "Oh, we don't have time for that today. The boys never listen anyway. We'll just put it off til next week." I know that as we are consistent in those little things we will see the blessings, even if it is not until a future time.
Have you ever compared the effort that Adam and Eve had to put into eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil vs the effort it takes to get to the Tree of Life in Lehi's vision? Of course, Adam and Eve had a bit of help. Satan was all, "Hey...do you want to eat some of this fruit? Oh, let me just go get it for you. Do you need me to peel it for you? Yes, here you go, all ready to eat. Dig in!" In contrast, getting to the Tree of Life is somewhat akin to American Ninja Warrior. Here's this rod of iron to hold onto while you go along this filthy river of water, (symbolizing the depths of hell!), through a mist of darkness and get mocked by a bunch of people. I don't think I could even handle the first 2 obstacles of the American Ninja Warrior course without feeling a bit weary, much less struggle through Lehi's vision in real life. I don't like heights as it is but if the cliff face goes to a river representing hell, I may be a bit paralyzed with fear.
Living in such a way as to lead one (and one's family) to the Tree of Life definitely may cause at least thoughts of feeling weary and overwhelmed. Thankfully, we have the Holy Ghost to comfort us and strengthen us. (More on that in a future post.) We are blessed with insights and help in those times of need as long as we seek it out. As we work to not be weary we are given extra strength and an extra spiritual boost. I find that when I am being diligent in prayer and scripture study that those things become easier for me.
I know that we are up for the task at hand. I know that He who designed the task has ensured that we will succeed with his help. Be not weary in well doing. When you feel weary and too tired to pray, just pray. When you are exasperated with your kids, (do your best to) continue to lay that foundation that will help them become the "great work" of your life. My boys will be the first to tell you that I am far from perfect in this but I try and I do my best and that is enough. The same goes for you.
Thursday, December 4, 2014
I'm Not Ignoring You
The Lion is sick right now. Nothing serious but he has a fever and some patches of hives. (If it is serious, and I'm oblivious, and you know better, let me know!) The itchy hives are making it tough for him to sleep. We were up quite a bit with him last night and he's been whimpering a lot tonight already. Last night, I tried to get him to sleep on the couch with me. I thought, "He's so clingy that maybe if I get him to just snuggle, he'll calm down and fall asleep." Poor guy did not stop moving! He was just rubbing his feet together, trying to scratch the hives on his ankles. I finally gave up and decided to put him back in bed, knowing that being with me wasn't helping him sleep and he would hopefully be better off in his own bed. Having learned my lesson last night, the plan for tonight is to just let him be, to let him get over it and go back to sleep on his own because my intervention only proves a distraction and doesn't help him get to sleep.
However, in his mind, I am certain, he is saying "Dudes! I don't feel good! Why is no one coming to hug me when I'm sad!? ... ... ... Hello!? Is anyone there? Does someone care about me? ... ... ... I don't feel good!"
How often have we been in a similar situation with our Heavenly Father? I imagine it a bit like trying to wave down a rescue plane.
We are struggling and having this horrible trial and we want out. We are ready to be done, or at the very least, we are ready for someone to hear of our tribulation. But no answer comes. We feel we aren't being heard.
Trust me - I hear The Lion. The reason I got up with him last night is because I have a hard time sleeping when he is sick. I'm listening with bated breath to every whimper, every cough and every cry. I wish I could just cuddle him all night and keep him safe but I know, in the current situation, that wouldn't help. I long to help him and fix everything for him. Are these not the feelings of our Heavenly Father? I am pretty certain that every prayer is heard. I am pretty certain He listens harder when we are struggling, just as I do when my kids aren't feeling well. Sometimes, however, an immediate answer or a swift rescue is not what is expedient for our benefit and the larger plan. I saw heard a quote this evening from Elder Scott in the October 1995 General Conference that says, "Your Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son love you perfectly. They would not require you to experience a moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needed [emphasis added] for your personal benefit or for that of those you love." That is definitely more generous than what I do as a parent but the point is there. I never want my children to go through difficulty or struggles unless there is a purpose behind it.
In an amazing talk called Bread or Stones: Understanding the God We Pray to, S. Michael Wilcox discusses the idea of a "fourth watch God" in regards to Mark, Chapter 6. He talks about how it is not until the 4th watch (from 3am to sunrise) is when Jesus finally came to help the apostles who, for hours, had been struggling to row against the wind. He says, "So when the trials aren't over and the blessings don't come, don't assume that He is not there, or He is not listening, or He doesn't care, or you're not worthy. Always assume you have not yet reached the fourth watch." He goes on to explain, what to do if you feel as if you are in the 9th watch. It is truly fantastic talk. Take a minute, or more like 5 minutes, to read it. I promise you will feel something that will give you hope, no matter what your trial may be. Maybe I should read it to The Lion.
In the meantime, I am going to call it a night while The Lion is quiet because he may become a fourth watch need-more-medicine-in-order-to-sleep kiddo.
One last thing, whatever your trial or your struggle may be - say a prayer to your God asking him how he feels about you. The answer with give you hope and strength to get through this next watch.
However, in his mind, I am certain, he is saying "Dudes! I don't feel good! Why is no one coming to hug me when I'm sad!? ... ... ... Hello!? Is anyone there? Does someone care about me? ... ... ... I don't feel good!"
How often have we been in a similar situation with our Heavenly Father? I imagine it a bit like trying to wave down a rescue plane.
We are struggling and having this horrible trial and we want out. We are ready to be done, or at the very least, we are ready for someone to hear of our tribulation. But no answer comes. We feel we aren't being heard.
Trust me - I hear The Lion. The reason I got up with him last night is because I have a hard time sleeping when he is sick. I'm listening with bated breath to every whimper, every cough and every cry. I wish I could just cuddle him all night and keep him safe but I know, in the current situation, that wouldn't help. I long to help him and fix everything for him. Are these not the feelings of our Heavenly Father? I am pretty certain that every prayer is heard. I am pretty certain He listens harder when we are struggling, just as I do when my kids aren't feeling well. Sometimes, however, an immediate answer or a swift rescue is not what is expedient for our benefit and the larger plan. I saw heard a quote this evening from Elder Scott in the October 1995 General Conference that says, "Your Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son love you perfectly. They would not require you to experience a moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needed [emphasis added] for your personal benefit or for that of those you love." That is definitely more generous than what I do as a parent but the point is there. I never want my children to go through difficulty or struggles unless there is a purpose behind it.
In an amazing talk called Bread or Stones: Understanding the God We Pray to, S. Michael Wilcox discusses the idea of a "fourth watch God" in regards to Mark, Chapter 6. He talks about how it is not until the 4th watch (from 3am to sunrise) is when Jesus finally came to help the apostles who, for hours, had been struggling to row against the wind. He says, "So when the trials aren't over and the blessings don't come, don't assume that He is not there, or He is not listening, or He doesn't care, or you're not worthy. Always assume you have not yet reached the fourth watch." He goes on to explain, what to do if you feel as if you are in the 9th watch. It is truly fantastic talk. Take a minute, or more like 5 minutes, to read it. I promise you will feel something that will give you hope, no matter what your trial may be. Maybe I should read it to The Lion.
In the meantime, I am going to call it a night while The Lion is quiet because he may become a fourth watch need-more-medicine-in-order-to-sleep kiddo.
One last thing, whatever your trial or your struggle may be - say a prayer to your God asking him how he feels about you. The answer with give you hope and strength to get through this next watch.
Saturday, November 22, 2014
God First Loved Us
I was thinking the other day about how we love God because he first loved us. I thought about how, as parents, we first love our own children. My friend, Lyndsay, has a multitude of great posts about motherhood but this one came to mind in regards to this topic. I appreciate that she talks about how in the instant you decide to enter into parenthood, your life changes. I know that I loved my boys from the moment Doug and I decided we wanted to be parents. I had no idea how much I could love someone I had never met.
When the boys were born, of course, I was filled with love for them. But that love had been in a desire to love them for much longer. During the months of negative pregnancy tests, I loved them and desired to raise them and protect them. Without getting into too deep of doctrine, it is safe to say that I definitely loved my children before they loved me.
And I think they love me because I first loved them. When you love someone, you desire to serve them. It's pretty easy to find ways to serve a newborn or, really, any age of child. And, as our children grow, and they better understand their love for us, they desire to serve us. I need to be better about finding ways to allow my children to serve me. When I don't, they demonstrate love in running jump-kick tackles. (Honestly, LJ did that the other day and I told him we had to stop before someone got hurt. He said, "Let's see who gets hurt first!" Good grief!)
Seriously, what are ways you allow your children to serve you? Help me out here before someone gets hurt.
When the boys were born, of course, I was filled with love for them. But that love had been in a desire to love them for much longer. During the months of negative pregnancy tests, I loved them and desired to raise them and protect them. Without getting into too deep of doctrine, it is safe to say that I definitely loved my children before they loved me.
And I think they love me because I first loved them. When you love someone, you desire to serve them. It's pretty easy to find ways to serve a newborn or, really, any age of child. And, as our children grow, and they better understand their love for us, they desire to serve us. I need to be better about finding ways to allow my children to serve me. When I don't, they demonstrate love in running jump-kick tackles. (Honestly, LJ did that the other day and I told him we had to stop before someone got hurt. He said, "Let's see who gets hurt first!" Good grief!)
Seriously, what are ways you allow your children to serve you? Help me out here before someone gets hurt.
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Is It True?
I know they always say that instead of worrying about if the grass is greener somewhere else, you should just focus on watering your own grass, but sometimes I like to just go check out the other grass. On the way home from preschool today, LJ and I were driving around a nearby neighborhood. Today, it led to the following conversation:
LJ: Will we get a house with a big yard today?
Mom: Nope. Not today, bud. Probably not for at least another 5 years. It will probably be about when you get baptized. (He seems to relate everything to being eight and baptized. And apparently, I'm in denial that he turned four since he will be nine years old in 5 years.)
LJ: Mom! I can't get baptized until I know if the church is true!
Mom: That's right, buddy. How do you think you can know if it is true?
LJ: I've got no idea! (This is a common phrase as of late.)
Needless to say, we talked a lot about how we can pray to know if the church is true. We talked about how we feel when we are at church, when we pray, when we read the scriptures and when we listen to General Conference or the choir. He wanted to add the desire to know into his personal prayers. I told him that I say special prayers for him every day and asked if he would want me to add that to my prayers. He said he did and also wanted Grandma Linda to pray for him to be able to know if the church was true.
Then, I told him that I didn't know the church was true until I was "really old", like 23. He wanted to know why and I told him that I grew up in a different church and that I didn't even know what the "Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints" was until I was 23. I was then reminded of a thought I'd had on Sunday. Our primary chorister was teaching the senior primary kids the song "Scripture Power". One of the boys was walking in from getting a drink of water and just started singing along right away. He looked nice in his suit and gave a quick smile at me as he walked by, singing all along. All of the primary kids impress me in so many ways and this young man just comes across as stalwart and firm in his testimony of the gospel, and particularly, his testimony of Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon. That momentary interaction with him, struck me with strength of his testimony and just how lucky he, and all the great kiddos we have in primary, are. They are so lucky to have the primary program and gospel-loving parents to help teach them and guide them when they are young. As a mom, I feel so lucky to have LJ and The Lion be able to learn such eternal principles at such a young age. They are principles and doctrines that will provide them with strength and comfort through the many difficulties and trials they will face in their young lives.
LJ: Will we get a house with a big yard today?
Mom: Nope. Not today, bud. Probably not for at least another 5 years. It will probably be about when you get baptized. (He seems to relate everything to being eight and baptized. And apparently, I'm in denial that he turned four since he will be nine years old in 5 years.)
LJ: Mom! I can't get baptized until I know if the church is true!
Mom: That's right, buddy. How do you think you can know if it is true?
LJ: I've got no idea! (This is a common phrase as of late.)
Needless to say, we talked a lot about how we can pray to know if the church is true. We talked about how we feel when we are at church, when we pray, when we read the scriptures and when we listen to General Conference or the choir. He wanted to add the desire to know into his personal prayers. I told him that I say special prayers for him every day and asked if he would want me to add that to my prayers. He said he did and also wanted Grandma Linda to pray for him to be able to know if the church was true.
Then, I told him that I didn't know the church was true until I was "really old", like 23. He wanted to know why and I told him that I grew up in a different church and that I didn't even know what the "Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints" was until I was 23. I was then reminded of a thought I'd had on Sunday. Our primary chorister was teaching the senior primary kids the song "Scripture Power". One of the boys was walking in from getting a drink of water and just started singing along right away. He looked nice in his suit and gave a quick smile at me as he walked by, singing all along. All of the primary kids impress me in so many ways and this young man just comes across as stalwart and firm in his testimony of the gospel, and particularly, his testimony of Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon. That momentary interaction with him, struck me with strength of his testimony and just how lucky he, and all the great kiddos we have in primary, are. They are so lucky to have the primary program and gospel-loving parents to help teach them and guide them when they are young. As a mom, I feel so lucky to have LJ and The Lion be able to learn such eternal principles at such a young age. They are principles and doctrines that will provide them with strength and comfort through the many difficulties and trials they will face in their young lives.
Saturday, November 8, 2014
Prayers in Time of Need
A few weeks ago, LJ's teachers mentioned some concern about some of his social interactions. It was odd to us because, from our perspective he didn't demonstrate the behaviors they had observed. Being a mom, I was a bit concerned and reached out to friends who had spent time with LJ and seen him interact with other children. There wasn't a major concern with any of them but I still intended to bring it up at his well-child check. Then we attended his birthday celebration at school. I had never seen him as unsure of himself as he was that day. It kind of broke my heart that he was so lacking in confidence. I felt that it would come in time but I just wanted him to feel comfortable and like he had a friend. I really started pleading during my prayers that he would be feel confident in himself and recognize he could be himself and that people there cared about him. At the same time, I didn't want to push him at all. If he's an introvert like his parents, I don't want him to feel pressured to be super-social and out-going. I just wanted him to have friends and not be an outcast. A couple of weeks later we went in for parent/teacher conferences. His teachers told us that so many of the observations they had mentioned were no longer a concern. They asked if we had talked to him about it at all since the change seemed to happen overnight. We hadn't but I believe there was some divine intervention involved in helping him to open up a bit and make some friends. Now, when we leave, it takes a while to get into the car because he is so busy saying his goodbyes to everyone.
Apparently, he has caught on to the comfort that comes from prayer. He is not the best at sitting still for family prayer or his personal prayers before bed but we do have evidence that he says them when we aren't around. Doug was in his office when LJ came upstairs to get something. LJ thought he was alone and Doug heard him say, "Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for this day...in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. That's enough!" Later, I asked him if he had said a prayer while he was upstairs and he said that he did because he was scared and after the prayer he didn't feel scared anymore. Admittedly, it was not a very eloquent prayer but I'll take it. And I'm certain Heavenly Father will too.
Apparently, he has caught on to the comfort that comes from prayer. He is not the best at sitting still for family prayer or his personal prayers before bed but we do have evidence that he says them when we aren't around. Doug was in his office when LJ came upstairs to get something. LJ thought he was alone and Doug heard him say, "Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for this day...in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. That's enough!" Later, I asked him if he had said a prayer while he was upstairs and he said that he did because he was scared and after the prayer he didn't feel scared anymore. Admittedly, it was not a very eloquent prayer but I'll take it. And I'm certain Heavenly Father will too.
Monday, May 26, 2014
Guest Post: Lending My Son to the Lord
I feel so honored to have had so many amazing guest posts lately! This one is from Trina over at Tidbits From Trina. (And you can find her on facebook too!) I love her amazing ability to find gospel lessons in everyday life. When we first moved into our current ward, she taught the Sunday School class and I don't think she will know how many lives she blessed through that calling. Her missionary doors are about to rotate as her son comes home and her daughter goes out. Gratefully, we get to read some of her thoughts about being a Missionary Mom. This post has already changed my life. Pay attention to the part about prayer and it may change yours too. I also love the extrapolation of Hannah's story. I got a bit choked up while thinking of Trina's words while looking at the image of Hannah and Samuel.
One of my favorite scripture stories is of Hannah and Samuel. The faithfulness, gratitude and honesty she showed the Lord by giving her son to him is astounding, especially when you consider the story that brought them to that point. Imagine the emotions she must have felt when she took her sweet boy, just weaned, to the priest, Eli, to be raised unto the Lord. Her sacrifice is among some of the greatest. I've come to really love Hannah over the past two years. Although the magnitude of our sacrifices is different I've drawn relation and comfort from her experience and her spirit.
I always knew my son, Kalten, would serve a mission. From the time he was small it was his chief goal. He never could decide “what he wanted to be when he grew up” as long as he was a missionary first. When he was in junior high he made two goals. The first was to serve a mission. The second was to not kiss a girl to ensure he went on a mission. I had nineteen years to enjoy him and prepare myself to send him off for two years. Hannah only had a few years, probably 2-3 before sending him off for the rest of his life.
I remember the day we dropped him off at the Missionary Training Center. Many tears were shed and I just kept wanting one more hug. In case you’re wondering, you can’t get enough hugs to last two years. It just doesn't work. I’m sure there were many tears shed by Hannah the day she dropped her son off at his training center (the temple). When I dropped off my missionary I felt many conflicting emotions. I was depressed and excited and sad and happy all at the same time. I've had periods of mourning and depression-feelings I’d never thought I’d experience in regard to sending him on a mission. I've cried because I miss my boy. I've longed for the sight of his face, the sound of his voice, even the embarrassment he was so flawless at providing me. But the greatest, most prevalent feeling I've had because of his missionary service has been pure joy. It’s in these moments of such joy that it’s all been worth it.
I don’t believe it’s a coincidence that in the scriptural account right after Hannah leaves Samuel with Eli, she sings praises to the Lord. She too, felt that eternal joy of knowing her child is a servant of the Lord. Hannah’s psalm is beautiful. In it she recognizes the power, strength and goodness of the God her son will serve. 1 Samuel 2:1-10 starts with these words, “And Hannah prayed and said, My heart rejoiceth in the Lord, mine horn is exalted in the Lord, my mouth is enlarged over mine enemies; because I rejoice in thy salvation.” Hannah uses a term that I love. “…I have lent him to the Lord.” You might think this is opposite what we've been taught, that our children are on loan from our Heavenly Father, to us, to raise in righteousness so that they can return to Him. I agree with that too, in fact both are correct and they don’t contradict but stand together. I believe Hannah understood very well the concept that we could be together again as families and that this was part of the road that she needed to travel to ensure she could be with her son again. In a sense, God loaned Samuel to her, she loaned him back to the Lord, and therefore they will both get him in the next life. What an example of giving all that we have for the Lord’s purposes.
Because of Hannah’s great sacrifice she received blessings. One of the obvious is that her son was raised up to be a prophet. Another is the children she was blessed with-another three sons and two daughters. I have no doubt that this was one of her favorite blessings. Hannah had wanted to be a mother more than anything. Principally, it was her pleading for a child that set this story in motion.
For This Child I Prayed by Elspeth Young
The blessings we've received have been tremendous. Hannah’s story is one of them as you can see but there are others, many others. Let me share a few.
Kalten’s safety was a huge concern of this worrywart mom. President Gabrielson shared a scripture with me the night Kalten was set apart as a missionary. D&C 84:88 And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left and my spirit shall be on your hearts, and mine angels round about you to bear you up. – Now that’s a blessing! For me and my son.
We’ve been blessed financially. Even though we've had hours and benefits cut we've made it through and no one has starved to death. In fact, we've been overwhelmed at the generosity by some very sweet “helpers” who've contributed to Kalten’s mission. One amazing donation from an anonymous person has been overwhelming and such a blessing when we really needed it. I’ll never forget that.
Kalten has become quite tidy from what I understand. He loves to clean and he expects a certain level of tidiness from his companions. He’s asked for cleaning tips even! Something I never expected from one of my sons! Moms, tell me you wouldn't love that!
Elder Browning is so much closer to the Lord, it’s evident in the emails he sends as well as the calls we get from people in Ohio who come in contact with him and want to just tell us what an awesome son we have. What rewarding calls and what a reward for this mom to know that her son has a personal relationship with God. Mosiah 5:13 says, “For how knoweth a man the master whom he has not served, and who is a stranger unto him, and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart?” Serving a mission has truly helped him to get to know the Lord. He is about the Lord’s business. It’s been his only focus for almost two years. He depends on the Lord for, well, everything. He knows the Lord!
He LOVES to learn and study. He often tells us a new way he’s studying. Most recently he’s copying down the Book of Mormon, word for word and writing down his thoughts and related scriptures as he does. He has developed a great work ethic and wonderful habits that he’ll carry into the next chapters of his life.
We are so much better at FHE. We aren't perfect but we do better than we ever have before. It’s easier than it used to be. And we have more lessons instead of just family activities. There’s a greater balance and our family is better for it.
Our girls are also developing better relationships with God. They are each so much more focused on Him and what he wants. Two of them have decided to also serve missions and our third daughter is considering it. Whatever is decided, each of our girls is developing into wonderful young daughters of God which thrills this mom.
I feel like a successful mom. This is a real blessing for me. I went through a frustrating time where I felt I haven’t been what I should be as a mom. I’m realizing that I've done a great job. The Lord has helped me feel peace that I didn’t have until Kalten was into his mission. Peace of mind is a godsend.
Each contact is a blessing. I feel so blessed to have access to technology that keeps us in touch. It’s a rule that each missionary writes home. Kalten has not only been great at this but perfect. A few times I didn't receive anything then later found it in my spam folder. I LOVE to live in a time when communication like this is possible. I feel for those who served 100 years ago, who’d go months or even years without hearing from their loved ones. Hannah saw her son one time each year when she and her family went to the temple to make their sacrifice. We've had the privilege of 5 calls from our missionary. The first was the day he flew from the MTC to Ohio. We also received calls on Christmas and Mother’s Day each year. Each of these is truly a blessing from the Lord!
Lessons learned aren't only for the missionary. For instance, I learned something from these calls. I've thought about how much I love my boy, how bad I want to hear his voice, his thoughts, what’s happening etc. I realized it’s much the way our Father must feel about us. I've become much more aware of my prayers. He too, looks forward to hearing from us. When I’m half asleep and falling into bed, I try to remember how much I want to hear from my son and realize my Heavenly Father loves me even more than that and wants to hear from me too. The lessons I've learned and the insights I've gained are invaluable.
Each of these blessings has brought joy. I don’t know a better way to say it. I’m happy, content, elated, satisfied, at peace, hopeful, and the list goes on. I had a taste of these feelings before I “lent my son to the Lord”, and they grow more dominant each day. I am grateful to a Heavenly Father and his perfect son who are not just willing but desirous to grant us blessings and peace and joy. I’m also grateful for a son that has given all for two years to honor them. Oh how blessed I am. “My heart rejoiceth in the Lord...I rejoice in thy salvation!”
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